Movie Cowboys vs. Movie Aliens

3. Ennis Del Mar vs. E.T.

The Movie Cowboy: One half of Brokeback Mountain’s forbidden coupling, Heath Ledger’s rugged sheep-herder is a man’s man who just so happens to prefer the company of men in all elements of his life. An emotional pressure-cooker, he could explode at the least provocation.

The Movie Alien: Cuddly E.T. is one of the friendliest aliens you could ever hope to meet. Whilst most of his intergalactic brethren are lording it with their ray-guns, he’s never happier than when reviving a dying flower. Awww.

If They Fought: E.T. might be a loveable soul, but he’s no fighter. Ennis, on the other hand, has thrown more than a few punches in his time…

The Winner: The bout is called a no-contest as the two gently weep on each other’s shoulders. The crowd angrily demands their money back as the two shake hands and leave arm in arm.
 
Sample Dialogue: [Del Mar] “I wish I knew how to quit you.” [E.T.] “I’m off home in a bit. I’m sure you’ll manage.”